You Found Me
by Ev'ryBody'sGotALaughin'Place
Summary: He hit rock bottom, and everyone he ever cared about left as soon as he began falling. She never meant to hurt him, and wants him back. She just doesnt know the first place to start looking. Full summary inside. AH/ExB Rating subject to change.
1. Prologue

I was listening to You Found Me, by The Fray the other day, and it got me thinking: what would have happened if Edward's family, friends, and Bella had left him when he had needed them most? What if his only friend was a doctor that he went to see every other day? And then that got me thinking again: what if Jasper was that doctor? Well, I sat down and decided to see what my brain thought.

**Full summary: **He is alone, sad, and depressed. He lost his family, friends, and the love of his life. He hit rock bottom, and they left as soon as he began falling. On top of that, he's ready to die. Dr. Whitlock, his psychologist, is the only one he can turn to. Once day, though, Dr. Whitlock leaves too. Edward decides then that life is not worth living if you're alone. Can someone save him before it's too late, and he's dead? And, if that, who would be willing to save him if everyone who ever cared left already?

Dr. Whitlock wants more than anything for him to feel wanted; to be loved again. Too bad the only one who can do that is nowhere to be found. But he's not giving up, no matter how what his job says. He wants Edward to know that he had always been there; he had always been willing to listen, to help him out. Even if it means searching for that long-lost love of Edward's, Jasper is willing to do it. And, lucky for him, it was never really that hard to find her. All he had to do was go to the corner of 1st and Amistad. Believe it or not, but it is ExB… eventually. Just not anytime soon.

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**Prologue**

Edward peered over the side of the cliff. He watched as the harsh waves slapped up against the side of the perilous cliffs. The water covered up the sharp, jagged, deadly rocks for a few seconds before slipping down slowly. It was the perfect way to end his life. Maybe he'd even get to see _her _again.

His heart began to hurt at the thought. Why would _she _want to see him again, if she had already left once? The answer was obvious to him: she wouldn't.

But, then again, he didn't care. Life wasn't worth living if no one was willing to help you through it. God didn't care about him. That is, if there even _was _a God. Probably not. If there was, then He wouldn't have let Edward live in Hell like he had. He wouldn't have let _her _leave him. There was no one out there who cared. Not anymore. They had made sure to point that out to him.

He backed up so that he could jump, taking off his shirt and throwing it to the ground. The wind blew hard, as if trying to keep him from doing this. His bronze hair whipped across his face as he got ready to run.

He was going to do it and no one and nothing was going to stop him.

He took off on a dead run for the cliff, never once slowing down. It was only when there was no longer ground beneath his feet that he heard it.

"No, Edward! Don't do it! I love you!"

But it was too late, for he had already crashed into the deadly water below.

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Holy crap. Talk about freakin' sad! Was that me writing that? I guess it was. Review; tell me if it's worth continuing or if I should just bag it now. Each and every review means the world to me!


	2. Him and Her

I enjoyed writing it, so, even though I didn't get very many of anything on it, I'm going to continue. Thanks to Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale. and XshoppingshortieX for reviewing!

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**Him and Her  
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In Brooklyn, New York there was a building located on the corner of 1st Street and Amistad Avenue. In this building, in room 1704 on the seventeenth floor, world-renowned and most sought-after psychologist Jasper Whitlock was sitting down in his black leather chair, across from his last patient of the day.

"Good evening, Edward. How have you been these last few days?" he asked his patient politely.

Edward Cullen's ears perked up upon hearing his name, but didn't look up, nor did he move from his position draped across the black couch when he replied to the doctor. "Wonderful. And yours?" He continued staring at the dark blue wall in front of him, trying to find patterns in it… or, even better, any distraction to keep from looking at his doctor _period. _

Jasper chuckled. "Mine was good. Ready to get started?"

Edward turned his head away and shrugged. Jasper sighed. He was used to this; Edward was never one to give straight 'yes' or 'no' answers to anyone, and now was one of those times. He tried a different approach,

"Do you think today you'd be able to tell me about _her _today?" he prompted. He was, of course, speaking of an old girlfriend of Edward's. From what he had been able to gather through his and Edward's sessions those past six months, he had learned that she and Edward were supposed to have gotten married when she left him.

Everyone left him.

Edward chuckled darkly, and still didn't look up at Jasper. "Probably. I've been trying to tell you about _her _for a while now, you know." Now was when he looked over at Jasper. He couldn't see Edward's eyes, though, for his reddish-brown hair was in desperate need of a trim… but he also didn't need to, to know that they were filled with sadness. They always were.

"Do you think today would be our lucky day?"

Edward looked away and ran a hand through his hair. He always did this when he was upset or frustrated. Now Jasper could see his eyes—the deep green orbs were glistening with unshed tears.

He nodded and spoke, "She was amazing in every sense of the world. Never saw herself clearly, though, always calling herself plain and unattractive. Which was as far from the truth as you could get. Her long mahogany hair and deep, deep brown eyes… she was beautiful." He smiled slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes—not even close. "She also hated shopping with a passion. If it were up to her, she would have been more than glad to leave all the shopping to… _Alice," _he had such a hard time saying his twin sister's name, "and Rose. But she was always being dragged along by them. That's one of the reasons why we were never together, and it took us so long to get engaged. And, even then, the engagement was a sort of spur-of-the-moment thing, as it were.

"After the accident… you know what I mean, right?" Jasper nodded, and motioned for him to continue. He was speaking of the car accident that killed his parents. "Alright. After the accident, she started being really distant-like… and to everyone, not just me. I think it was because of how I became so addicted to the pain meds." A tear broke free from his efforts and slid down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly, embarrassed.

Jasper grabbed a tissue from the box beside him and handed it to Edward. Hesitantly he took it and began to dab at his eye.

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault, Edward. Maybe she left for other reasons; you never know."

Edward snorted. "Yeah, definitely." The sarcasm was oozing from his voice. "Her timing was coincidental, that's what you're saying. Yeah, sure. I mean, who _wouldn't_ want to be married to a drug addict?" His jaw clenched and he refused to make eye-contact with Jasper.

"Edward, I'm positive that she had something going on, that she had other things to do—"

Edward interrupted him. "Don't you mean _better _things to do? Better things to do than deal with your fiancé's petty drug addiction."

"No, I don't. I meant what I said. Edward, I don't like how you can't seem to stop blaming yourself for something that is out of your control, something that happened ten years ago. It wasn't your fault then, and it sure isn't your fault now." Edward nodded curtly, and Jasper sighed, realizing that he was getting nowhere with this. "Would you please continue with your story, Edward?" he asked as politely as he could. No matter how much he wished he didn't think so, but he felt like he was dealing with a child instead of a thirty-or-so year-old man most of the time.

"There's nothing more to say," was Edward's tight-lipped response.

Jasper hated to do it, but he knew that if he didn't, than he would never find out.

"Can you tell me her name?"

Edward's head shot up, and he looked at Jasper like he had just asked him for a murder confession. Jasper kept his expression calm and waited for his answer—if there would be one.

Edward searched his face for any sign that he could be kidding. There was nothing to find.

He sighed deeply and looked down at the floor. "Her name was—"

He was interrupted by the ringing of the bell, indicating that his session time was up. Edward wasted no time, shooting up from the couch and grabbing his jacket.

"See you next time, Dr. Whitlock," he said rather quickly, putting on his jacket and all but throwing himself at the door.

Jasper sighed. He had been so close… "Thursday, then."

"Thursday," Edward confirmed and slipped through the doorway quickly.

Jasper sighed. Once again he had failed to help him. He had been seeing Edward for six months, and he felt no closer to helping him overcome his overbearing guilt than he was that first session.

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Edward pressed the down button at the end of the hall and went back to waiting for the blasted elevator to get there already. Dr. Whitlock was doing all he could, it was true, but what was even truer was that there was no hope for Edward. After _she _left, so did all of his hope of getting better. Yes, he had been able to overcome his addiction. Yes, he had gotten to the point where it no longer hurt to see her beautiful face in his mind like it had at first, but she was the only one who would be able to get him past this numbing feeling that he had gotten so well at. Only she…

By that time the elevator was there so he slinked inside and let the doors close.

He felt claustrophobic, being in here with all these strangers in such a tight space. Finally the elevator stopped on the main floor and he all but ran out as soon as the doors opened up.

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Isabella Swan put her head in her hands and breathed in deeply, keeping the tears that threatened to flow at bay. For the ninth time that week she and Alice had tried everything they could think of to find _him. _But so far nothing had worked. _He _was nowhere to be found. On more than one occasion they had been told to give up; it had been ten years, and if there was any trace of _him_ on this Earth they would have found it by now. But she refused to give up. She knew in her heart that he was out there… somewhere…

"Bella, maybe we should go home now," Alice whispered from behind her. They were in the Brooklyn Library and it was nearly closing time. Bella jumped at the sound of her best friend's voice and let her eyes sweep the place one final time. She saw how the entire place had thinned out, only a handful of people remaining. They probably had special rights that allowed them to stay past closing. Everything was deathly quiet, the only sounds being those of pages being turned.

She nodded and began to gather up her belongings from the cherry wood table and black leather chair where she had been conducting her search from. When she finally had all of her things in her bag she ran her hand through her hair in frustration—a trait that she had picked up from _him _before she left him…

Alice handed her a black pea coat, which she gladly took and slipped on. Together they stepped out into the cold, unforgiving weather of Brooklyn, New York.

Bella shoved her hands in her pockets in an attempt at remaining warm as she and Alice walked down past a large building on the corner of 1st Street and Amistad Avenue. All around them cheery faces and warm spirits filled the air as people finished up their daily Christmas shopping before the stores all closed for the night. Despite the all-around mood of the place, Bella and Alice were still upset and depressed. Once again, they had failed at finding the one person they had yet to locate.

The one who mattered most.

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There: the first chapter. Please let me know if you enjoyed it; it'd mean the world to me!

See you when you review!


	3. Out There

**_Playlist:_ **

**EPoV & BPoV—**_Here Without You- _3 Doors Down (Go listen; in my opinion, it explains what Edward and Bella are thinking throughout this entire story ;D)

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**Out There  
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Edward shoved is hands in his pockets and wove through the busy streets of Brooklyn. Was it just him, or was 1st Street always the most crowded?

He avoided eye contact with everyone on the streets. He passed by every store, but never stopped to look in the windows. He had no reason to. No one was buying him any gifts, and he wasn't buying any either. Christmas was just as useless to him as the rest of the year.

He was able to breathe again once he was in the safe confinements of his apartment. He switched the lights on and let his gaze shift throughout the tiny front room. Everything was just as he had left it that morning. His apartment was small, yes… but that was also exactly how he liked it: small and cozy. If he had anything larger or grander would remind him too much of his parents. They had always appreciated the more expensive things in life.

He sighed and let his bag fall to the floor, hung his jacket up on the lonely hook that was perched alongside of the door frame. He trudged up the tiny flight of stairs, not even bothering to enter his itsy-bitsy kitchen. He was too tired to be thinking about food. But, then again, wasn't he always?

He struggled with the handle on his bedroom door for a moment before he finally got it open. He opened it partially and slipped through, pushing on it just enough for it to close gently, silently, behind him. He paused, waiting for the click that would tell him if it had closed all the way, and when it did, he sighed and went over to his dresser.

Despite the late hour of the day, everything outside was still as bright and cheerful as it was throughout the morning hours, and the whiteness of the snow just seemed to add onto it. This angered him; how could people be so cheerful and care-free when there were people, like him, out there who were suffering in ways that they could only hope that they wouldn't have to feel one day?

He shook his head at that thought and went back to his searching. Eventually he pulled out a pair of dark blue, cotton pajama pants. He changed out of his day clothes and put them on. _She _used to like it when he didn't wear a shirt to bed, and it just sort of stuck with him through out all the years. _Ten _years, if he wanted to be precise.

He saw a flash of white out of the corner of his eye. His gaze flashed in the direction of the window. Fresh flakes of fluffy white snow were falling. In a nice, easy pattern, as far as he could tell. His mood instantly hit an all-time low. He hated snow. _She _had left during Christmastime.

He was about to look away when he saw it. Or, rather, _her._

In the building right across from his, a girl with long, dark brown hair sat in the window sill. She had her legs curled up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She had her head resting on the frame behind her, and was looking down at the ground below. Sadly, from what he could see from his position. The closer he looked the more of this beautiful girl he could see.

Her mahogany hair hung loose around her face, making the heart shape of it more pronounced. Even from where he was, he could tell that her nose was slightly upturned –but not enough to make her look like a Who—and her sad, brown eyes were the exact same color as her hair. Her bottom lip was slightly fuller than her top, giving her a sort of pouty look. The corners of her lips were pulled down in a frown.

She looked so much like _her…_

Edward watched as a large man came up from behind her and put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump. She looked up at the man, and launched herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. He rubbed her back soothingly. Like how _she _used to do to him…

The man whispered something into her ear and she nodded, letting go and stepping away from him. He touched her face and bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead.

Edward looked away, sickened [with himself], and shut the blinds roughly so he didn't have to watch anymore. He ran a hand through his hair and breathed in through his nose deeply. Of course it had only been his mind playing sick jokes on him. She wasn't really here. And, if she was, she would have had no reason to be depressed like that girl had. After all, _she _was free of him, right? What more could you want in life than to be free of the ones holding you down?

He climbed into his bed and grabbed his iPod, turning on Here Without You, and fell asleep, dreaming of the night she had left…

_He woke up to the sounds of someone rustling through the dresser. He opened one of his eyes and scanned the room. He was back in Forks, his old bedroom. The one he had shared with _her._ She was searching through the dresser, pulling out her clothes and throwing them into a suitcase. _

"_Honey?" he asked groggily. "What're you doing?"_

_She sniffled and wiped at her eye with her sleeve, but didn't look at him. _

"_I have to leave, Edward," she whispered, turning around and kneeling down to the suitcase. She moved things about and once everything was where it needed to be, she zipped it up and stood up with it. _

"_What do you mean, love?" He sat up in the bed. She stifled a sob and turned for the door. _

"_Don't call me that," she snapped, and opened the door, pulling the bag through. _

_He jumped out of bed and ran to her, catching the door before she could close it completely. He blocked her attempt at leaving with one arm. She pushed at his arm, trying to get out. "Let me through, Edward!" He didn't loosen up._

"_Why? Where are you going?"_

"_Away!"_

_He shook his head, and forced her to look at him with one finger. "That's not good enough. Why are you leaving?"_

_She looked away from him, her deep brown eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I don't… love you anymore." She gave his arm one final shove, which he gave in to out of complete and utter shock. She didn't love him anymore... _

_He dropped his arm and she wasted no time, racing out of there like there was a fire. _

_He watched her retreating figure, his eyes stinging with tears. He knew it was bound to happen one day, but he wasn't prepared. He wanted her to wait just a few more weeks, just long enough for him to prove that he loved her, and was willing to do anything. _

_But it was too late now. She was gone, and wasn't coming back. _

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_She ran away as fast as she could. The tears were flowing freely now, making it hard to see as she burst through the front door and out into the cold, winter air of Forks. She wrenched the door to her truck open and threw the suitcase into the passenger side before getting in and jamming the keys in the ignition. She wiped at the tears and stomped on the pedal, tearing out of the driveway as fast as she could. Rose and Emmett were going to allow her to stay with them until she could find her own place—preferably as far away from Forks, Washington as possible. _

_She needed a distraction. Thinking on instinct, she reached out a hand and turned the radio on. Here Without You by 3 Doors Down was playing. A sob forced its way from her throat and she turned it off. That song hit too close to the mark. _

_She pulled into their driveway after a while. She pulled the keys out, letting the truck sputter to a stop, but made no movement to get out. _

_What had she just done? She knew why she did it, but she felt horrible for it. _

_For everything. _

_She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to keep from falling apart, and proceeded to cry herself into a restless sleep…_

"Bella?" Emmett asked, setting a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, officially coming out of her daze. She let her eyes take in her surroundings.

She was sitting in the widow sill of Alice's and her apartment that they had rented. Snow was falling outside. She hated snow. It was cold, wet, and reminded her too much of _him. _

"Oh, Emmett!" she sobbed, launching herself in his arms. He and Alice were the only ones who understood what she was going through.

"It's all right, Sis," he cooed, rubbing her back soothingly. Emmett was her older brother, and used to be _his _best friend. They had a falling out after he had gotten married to Rosalie Hale, and never really talked after that. Especially not after Bella had left him.

"E-Emmett, d-do you th-think he's r-really o-out th-there somewhere?" she whispered. Emmett was used to this; she asked him that every time she failed at locating _him. _

"Of course I do, Sis," he assured. "He's out there somewhere, just waiting for us to find him again. You know that, as well as I do." She nodded, and sniffled slightly. She pulled away, and Emmett frowned when he saw her tear-stained face.

He grimaced, and wiped away some tears from his sister's cheeks.

"Emmett, why did he have to believe me when I said I didn't love him?" she asked, a sob building up in her throat. "Why did he not come after me?"

"I don't know, Bells. I'm sorry," he murmured, and planted a kiss on her forehead in a brotherly way. She tried to smile at him and waved her hand dismissively.

"It's alright. I'm, uh, I'm going to go to bed now," she said, brushing past him.

She went back to her room and pulled out an old shirt of _his, _and pulled it on over her head. She grabbed her iPod off of the table next to her bed and climbed in, turning on Here Without You. She fell asleep, dreaming of better times. Better times before she had left.

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Alice pressed her ear flat against the wood of Bella's door, listening. She had sent Emmett in there only moments before, for she knew that no matter what she did, she would never be able to help her best friend to the extent that Bella's brother could.

"E-Emmett, d-do you th-think he's r-really o-out th-there somewhere?" _Of course he is!_

"Of course I do, Sis," he assured her. "He's out there somewhere, just waiting for us to find him again. You know that, as well as I do." Alice heard some rustling and a sniffle.

"Emmett, why did he have to believe me when I said I didn't love him?" she asked, "Why did he not come after me?"

"Alice, what are you doing?" Alice jumped at the sound, and instantly straightened up.

"Nothing, silly!" She feigned innocence to her neice.

Liz's eyebrows furrowed together in disbelief. A trait she had recieved from her father.

"Mommy said that you shouldn't lie to people," she informed Alice. "She said that it's mean, and only ends up hurting people." Of course Bella would tell her that. She had more expirience dealing with that than she needed.

"You're right, ," Alice sighed, and stepped away from the door.

"How about some ice cream?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Liz put her hands on her hips. "At nine o'clock at night?"

"Oh, you onery nine-year-old." Alice smiled, and put a finger to her lips. "We just won't tell your mom, deal?" she whispered.

"Okay!" Liz's tone instantly brightened and she grabbed Alice's hand. "Let's go!"

They took off down the hallway, but Alice turned her head when she heard a door open. Emmett stepped out of Bella's room, a sour expression on his face. She was going to turn around and ask him what was wrong, but it was already too late, as Liz had already pulled her down the stairs and into the kitchen.

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Soo, how was it?I'd love to hear your theories for why she left ;D-- and Jayleen-Cullen-Whitlock-Hale., unfortunately I'm gonna have to exclude you from this one, LOL!

And you may have questions about this 'Liz' person, which I'd love to answer, but... no. Liz will be explained with more depth next chapter, so... yeah. She's suposed to be a mystery right now. Once again, Jayleen, you're excluded from this, LOL.

Review, PLEASE!


	4. AN2

Ugh, I'm a terrible person. I've rejected my stories for so long... and I'm soooooo sorry, guys. i feel horrible, 'cause you were all sooooo great to me and helped me so much... But I am only a young teenage girl, and I lose interest very very quickly and I hate to say it but I've kinda lost interest in fanfiction. I hate doing this to you guys, but when a writer can't write anymore... there's nothing left to save. Life's been so hard, what with my poor poor mother being ill with kidney failure and my stupid boyfriend and friends' drama.

The other night, I was looking through my old stories and I was reading the reviews my stories were given, and, looking back on it, I can't believe how much support you guys gave me, and then it got even better when I found out that my stories were part of some of the communities that had some of the best stories I had ever read and it made me so happy that my readers ranked me with them.

I may or may not post new chapters every once in a while, but I haven't given up writing completely. I absolutely adore writing stories with my own characters, and I'm going to be converting some of my stories -like You Found Me, which has already been converted- with my own characters and I'm thinking about posting them over on FictionPress, so watch out for me over there! I'm under the same name.

But besides that... thank you all so very much for the support and love you've all given me all this time, and I'm sooooo sorry to leave like this.

Please forgive me, guys.

Ev'rybody'sGotALaughin'Place

P.S. if you read this once, you don't have to read it on any other story of mine; they all say the same thing.


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